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Domestic Violence Prevention Month

  • Published
  • By Capt. Malaysia Gresham
  • 51st Medical Group Family Advocacy
OSAN AIR BASE, Republic of Koea --  October is Domestic violence Prevention and Awareness Month. Domestic Violence is a system of power and control over an intimate partner. It includes all forms of abuse: physical, sexual and emotional. The motivation is always to control another person's thoughts and behavior. Recognizing these indicators that contribute to developing unhealthy relationships may help to decrease your chances of being subjected to domestic violence. 

Did you and/or your partner have healthy relationship behaviors modeled for you?
If not, where did you learn about relationships growing up? From parents, family, friends, peers? Do either of you have a background of abuse and/or neglect? If so, have you resolved those issues at a level where you can function in a relationship? Here are elements to look at to see if abuse is a part of your relationship. 

1. Has there been any sexual coercion in the relationship? Do either of you touch the other when that touch is not welcomed? Do you pressure your partner to be sexual when he or she does not want to be? 

2. Is there constant criticism going on? Does your partner embarrass you in front of others? 

3. Do either of you engage in intimidation or threats? This can include a threat to commit suicide, or might involve destruction of property with the intent to scare the partner. 

4. Does one of the couple prevent the other from going where and when they wish? Is one of the couple extremely jealous and do they use that jealousy to justify controlling behaviors? 

5. Do either of you not listen carefully when one of you is feeling distressed or concerned? Do either of you deny that your partner's feelings are important or true? 

6. Are the children used in the adult's relationship as a tool or a target? Are negative messages sent through the children, or are the children threatened as a way of controlling the adult? 

7. Does one partner manipulate the relationship based on the privilege of which sex they are? Are there 'rules' in the relationship that are different based on which sex you are? 

8. Does one partner have more access to financial well-being than the other? Are you on an 'allowance,' or have you placed your partner on an 'allowance?' 

If you want to achieve a healthy, productive relationship, you should avoid the eight pitfalls above. If you practice any of these, your relationship is likely to be hurtful and potentially abusive, and will seldom improve without assistance. 

Together as an informed community, we can take a stand against domestic violence. If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence, contact the Family Advocacy Program at 747-5010 or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).