Getting help FAST Published April 3, 2008 By Carl Neighbors Family Advocacy Program OSAN AIR BASE, Republic of Korea -- April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. It is a time to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect, and encourage individuals and communities to support children and families. But what is anger and how does anger lead to people abusing children? According to the book, The Anger Control Workbook by Matthew McKay, Ph.D. and Peter Rogers, Ph.D, anger is nothing more than the emotional expression of a person in pain. Think about it. Each time you're angry, you're responding to feelings of pain. Maybe it was the pain of someone leaving us; maybe it was the pain and frustration of someone who disappointed us. The dangers of anger arise when individuals lose the ability to control negative emotions, especially when dealing with children. Being a parent or guardian is not an easy task. Anyone who has ever been a one knows how difficult it is to raise a child. Each child comes with his or her own personality, and sometimes these unique personalities can be very frustrating. Although it may be difficult, parents/guardians need to recognize when they are not in control of their emotions, and where and when to seek assistance if needed. Asking for help does not mean that you're not good parents. It only means you've run into a situation for which you need help managing. In the vast majority of family advocacy maltreatment cases, parents do no intentionally mean to harm their children. However, because of overwhelming feelings of anger and frustration, some parents do physically or emotionally harm their children. One extremely dangerous situation is Shaken Baby Syndrome, which occurs when an infant is violently shaken. Most often, this occurs when a parent becomes frustrated with an infant over an extended period of time. Severe and permanent harm can result from shaking a baby for only a second or two. The unfortunate outcome can result in a lifetime of pain for the child and the parents. The Family Advocacy office offers the Family Advocacy Strength-Based Training program. The FAST program is designed to help a family and/or individual determine how to handle potentially stressful situations such as resolving conflict, improving communication and dealing with children before an incident happens that would mandate a maltreatment case for the family/individual. With the FAST program, nothing is reported to supervisors or commanders. Visits to the FAST program are not part of a person's medical record nor do FAST records follow the individual to their next base. All records remain in Osan's family advocacy office. If you're feeling angry or frustrated with your children and believe that you would benefit from some help and support, contact family advocacy at 784-5010 and talk with someone about the FAST program. Remember, you can't go back to make a new beginning, but you can start today and make a new ending.